Please Pass the Crackers

Grainews

June 2021.

Don’t you wish you could have your buddies over for a bit of a boogie? Miss those chances to hang out and drink wine (sangria, mojitos, local ale, iced herbal tea, ginger lemonade, iced coffee)? Or just hang out? Yep. Me too. I miss parties. I miss hanging out. I miss visits. I miss shared meals. Who knows when we’ll be able to celebrate like that again as we move into our second year of COVID lockdown. Soon, right? Soon.

Back in the day, we threw some dandies. A birthday bash for Dave a few years back was notable, not only because Dave actually allowed me to have a party for him – he is an introvert who treasures his privacy – but because friends came from multiple provinces. And there was our wedding party. If you are fortunate, you’ve attended such a loving expression of joy and friendship as we had with our friends; the gods bless a crowded house to mark a marriage.  Our annual bonspiel on the lake happened on New Year’s Day for the seven years we had the lake until it dried up, and was the ideal mid-winter pick-us-up-and-give-us-a-good-cuddle, the perfect antidote when the thermostat dipped too deeply into the minus range. Nothing like hot cider lakeside, along with some crazy-fool friends willing to join you in sliding frozen articles down the ice, followed by chili and cookies and camaraderie indoors to take off the nip in your cheeks.

So what are we using as antidote to the chill of loneliness, overwork, or simply isolation, these bubble-days? What has taken the place of those crowded houses? The blue drone of the television screen. Maybe too much wine. Too many snacks.

I for one am thoroughly sick of screens. I’d happily live without endless reruns and the bottomless pit of second-rate series and movies available on streaming services. And those viewing snacks have caught up with me. Yes – the chocolate mousse and flourless chocolate cake on special occasions, the chocolate bars, chocolate-covered ginger, chocolate-covered almonds, and chocolate-drizzled popcorn on all the everyday occasions. So I’ve upped my exercise regime. (What is it they say – we eat to live? Is that it? Or do we live to eat? I vacillate between the two.)

In any case, the best cure for the blues, and for the blue screen of the computer and TV, is movement. That is one thing I can do alone, without feeling let down or isolated, that will actually make me feel better. A walk, gardening, run, a second round of Frisbee with the dog. Then when the dog and I nap in the afternoon, I feel justifiably ready to let myself drop off. And when I snack, I gotta give up – or at least rein in – those chocolate bombs. So when my sister found this great cracker recipe and sent it to me with notice of my brother-in-law’s rave review, I made the crackers, thinking of more healthful snacking. And less blue screen. So first we eat some of these yummy crackers, and then it’s time to get outside.

Stella Parks’ Knockout Knockoff Carr’s-Style Whole Wheat Crackers

This recipe comes from seriouseats.com, posted by award-winning American pastry chef Stella Parks. You may agree with Parks and me that Carr’s whole-wheat crackers are the best in the known universe. Grainy, nutty, a hint of sweet – they’re the perfect foil to cheese, nut butters, olive tapenade. I used Saskatchewan-grown Red Fife flour. Use a scale for most accurate measurement if you have one. Thanks to Chef Parks.

Makes about 60 2” crackers

1/3 cup (55 g) wheat germ

1 cup + 6 Tbsp. (160 g) whole wheat flour

1/3 cup (70 g) sugar

¼ tsp. (1 g) kosher salt (less if using table salt)

¼ tsp. cream of tartar

¼ tsp. baking powder

¼ tsp. baking soda

6 Tbsp. (85 g) unsalted butter, cold, cubed

1/3 c. + 2 Tbsp. (100 g) buttermilk or kefir (not milk + lemon juice)

Set oven to 350 C. Line a baking sheet with parchment. Spread the wheat germ on the tray and bake for 3 minutes, or until toasty.

Combine the wheat germ with the remaining dry ingredients in the work-bowl of a food processor or in a bowl if you are working manually.  Blitz to blend. Add the butter and blitz into finely textured powder. Add the buttermilk and pulse just to blend.

Turn onto a floured counter and roll out thinly (about ¼”), flouring surfaces of counter and dough as needed. Dock the dough at regular intervals with the tines of a fork to minimize excess rising. Cut into 2” squares with a large, floured blade. Transfer to the baking sheet with an offset spatula or the knife blade. Bake for 15-18 minutes, depending on how brown you like your crackers. Cool on the tray and store in a tin at room temperature.

2 Comments

Filed under Creative Nonfiction [CNF], Culinary

2 responses to “Please Pass the Crackers

  1. We are finally in the position of having PEOPLE OVER FOR DINNER INSIDE. Two weeks ago we went to dinner with friends we hadn’t seen for 14 months, on their deck.

    On Sunday I had an experience – I stood up at the sink and for reasonable reasons my wheelchair was pulled back so when I went to sit down the chair wasn’t there so I fell on the floor striking my head on one of the metal parts. Being a head wound I bled like crazy. Bill called an ambulance and they managed to lift me up to my chair and then straight to St Paul’s emergency. In the last 23 years I have had more than a few trips to St. Paul’s emergency. I have never seen it that empty with an uplifting atmosphere. There were people with scrubs and masks chatting and joking. There seems to be a real bit of optimism in BC these days. It turn out the gash was very small, they joined together with glue, medical glue that is, and I went home and washed the blood out of several bits of clothing.

    We would be happy to see you out here someday. Sue

    >

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    • Dinner inside! Oh my goodness! I can hardly wait! We have had folks outside to dine, but not yet indoors. And i do not want a trip to Emergency to be part of the event. I hope you are well! We hope to travel again soon…

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